Bridgewater College professors, students and community members gathered in BC’s Cole Hall last month to hear Irshad Manji, author and activist, give a lecture on the importance of having healthy conversations rather than toxic debates.
Manji began by telling the crowd how important it is to have peaceful conversations in a messy world, particularly as the political climate has become more polarized. She encouraged the audience to develop “moral courage,” which she described as “doing the right thing by slowing down and thinking, not just emoting.”
Manji, known for her public debates on issues relating to the Islamic faith, paced the stage as she shared a personal story about how she learned to quiet her ego and prioritize learning from those who disagree with her.
One day, as she was preparing to appear on a talk show debate, she passed out and had to go to the hospital. She attributed this episode to the stress of the conversations where she was always trying to win. This was a wakeup call to her.
As she recovered, she realized that the toxic debates turned her critics into enemies, made her supporters suspicious of her motives and that she was “ingesting the same noxious energy [she] was feeding.”
She decided to make a change. Where she used to enter conversations as debates with the goal of winning, she switched to asking herself, “What can I learn from this context?”
This shift, which she encouraged the audience to adopt as well, led to conversations that ended in mutual respect and understanding. Manji said that the main reason conversations with others become debates is that the ego gets in the way of thinking.
She shared five core skills a person can use to achieve moral courage. The first one is to breathe deeply, regulating the nervous system. The second skill is to create common ground with the other person by acknowledging their existence beyond the specific issue.
Before making a statement about a belief, she suggested first asking a genuine question about the other person’s beliefs. Then, listen with the goal of learning.
Finally, she suggested continuing the conversation by prompting, “Tell me more…”
“We control us,” she said, explaining that each person only has control over their own “sphere of influence.”
The crowd nodded in agreement when Manji pointed out the increasing importance of peaceful conversation to heal gaps across belief systems.
A large part of Manji’s work through her organization, Moral Courage College, is teaching others to heal relationships in the same way she did. She aims to share the skills she learned over time with others to close the distance between “us” and “them.”
The next Endowed Lecture will be given by author Maggie Jackson and held on March 25 at 7:30 p.m.
– Rosie Clark ’26
2/23/26
